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| I'm 19, I'm Complicated and Complex and not to forget conceited, I'm tall i'm blonde and not the least bit worried, Im carefree and honest to a point of pain. I'm gay but not like a jay bird on a hot summer day. I know how to have fun but i know when to stop, I invite you to join me in a world thats messed up :) |
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About: Dale Frost Opened Since: July 24, 2008 Hosted By: Catherine MySpace /alreadyscrewed |
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I decided a long time ago that all my problems would be solved by love, Love is what i needed to set me free. Love. I look back on the past 2 years since my dad died and everything i've done in the name of love has blown up in my face. Last night i was reminded of my fathers death by a TV show which had me in tears, and at 3am there is no one you can really call, so the cowardly thing i did was go in my closet, go through the box of Ricki's belongings/memories. I grabbed my ring and put it on. I then cuddled up in bed and thought about Ricki. I thought about the way he touched me the way he held me and the way i felt in his arms and the way his lips felt across mine. I thought about all the nice things he ever said to me, and i eventually fell asleep knowing i accomplished getting someone to love me. When i awoke at 10am the next morning, i could still feel the ring, but though there were ALL the good memories i remembered i was hit with the bad ones the second i opened my eyes, I remember the lies he told me, I remember the way he let his dad chock me and then just sat and watched, i remember the things he said to me that night, and i remembered how betrayed i felt when i gave him everything worth giving and he left me for somebody he didn't even know. I then threw the ring against the wall in anger, because it was another morning/day off i had to spend alone. I don't believe my love for him will ever disappear, The love i feel for Ricki is unconditional. I don't know if his love for me is the same, but I know that in my eyes Ricki can do no wrong, and i know he knows that to. One thing i always promised him was no matter what happened between us, no matter WHAT that i would ALWAYS be there for him. Always, and i meant it, and i honestly hope he knows that. I don't know what it will take for me to get him back, or for him to realize that i love him more than anybody else ever could, or if i ever will get him back - I had his best interests at heart. I don't know who his new boyfriend is, but Ricki feels strongly for him and that's great I'm happy for him. But if what people are saying about his new boyfriend are true, I don't expect this to last to long (people at work have bets on it), It never does. Jeffrey tried the same mess, but he came back didn't he? I honestly feel if Ricki likes/loves this guy then that is great for him, As long as he is happy. It's what matters to me. I've given things to Ricki that i can never give back, I've sacrificed relationships with people for Ricki that i can never get back - if i could honestly go back and do it over again, i wouldn't. I may hold alot of resentment for Ricki but he made me grow up a little bit and see the world for what it is. I don't need LOVE or ANYONE to make me feel complete inside. I can do me all by myself. So in vow to the (.5) people that actually read this mess, that for the remainder of 2010 i will NOT have another boyfriend i will NOT sleep with anybody and i will finally work on me (Until Ricki comes back, at which point this promise is null and void). If by the end of the year, he has not returned to me, I'll move on. But the ways i've attempted to get over him in the past hasn't worked, and only made getting back together all that much harder. So, yeah. X later bitchs |
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Im going to blog. In two days it will be a month since my heart has been broken. I've done the best i can do to cope with the fact the person i love threw me away. I could sit and blame him for everything but it wasn't all his fault, but at the same time it wasn't all mine. I fell in love with someone who clearly (at the time) didn't want it, but it inevitably happened - Now i sit alone at night thinking of all the memories we shared, and how hard it will be to get over it. I can't bare to eat at subway and theres just certain roads/places i can't bare to go down. I think that if we did things differently it could work, but that's kind of the way it works in life. I know it didn't work the first three times (and im talking MAJOR breakups) but i am a strong believer love will conquer all. If Ricki and i were meant to be it'll work out that way, But if not then it was nice to have love in my life around the time i was most impressionable - If it wasn't for Ricki i know I'd probably be a lot worse off than i am now. I have alot to thank him for and alot to hate him for all at the same time. OHHH. And i got my hip(s) pierced. Here's my story Okay. So i got the idea to get my hips pierced after seeing a fag with them pierced online. I then realised no other gay down here has them (hehe) so i jumped at the chance to get them. So me and my friend Rachel Corman went on New Years Day and went to Skin Traditions and their piercer had left, We then went to some tattoo place on Victory Drive and they quoted me 120$ for both, I said fuck that. (This is the SAME tattoo place that attempted to charge me and my ex boyfriend 200$ EACH for our tattoos). We then went to Falcons and they basically talked me out of getting it, INSPIRATIONAL LYRIC: If i said i was truly over you, my heart would say amen. |
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So, i haven't officially blogged in a good little while. What is a fag to say? Ha, Well I GOT A JOB. Surprising right? It's crazy as crap. I cannot believe, Me ... Dale..... Frost ................ HAS A JOB! Hahaha. I'm not even gonna get started on my relationship problems cause that would be a never ending story. For a boy my age i have to much stress and to much worries, and for what? If it's clear they don't care, why in the world should i? It's a waste. So on that note, I don't want anybody, I dont want what youve got down below, Im not interest. Conversation is the key to my heart. Get to know the guy behind the skinny bitch who needs to eat a burger (little do ya'll know i haven't had a burger in a little over 10 years so HA!) Im still doing websites, (as you can tell). There's this one Sexy Stevens, A website thats been opened for FIVE (yes sir i said F I V E) years. Stalking is love  |
